The PSAT's are tomorrow

Part of the fun of parenting is learning how to do it differently for different kids. S was a test-taking fiend, tearing up the scores, even prepping under duress, a National Merit Scholarship finalist.

M hates standardized tests, has done better on the ACT than the SAT, doesn't really care about being a National Merit Scholar. She had set big goals about her scores and her colleges, and so we bought online test prep and signed her up for a one-shot prep workshop. She did make it to the workshop, but has not touched the online prep.

And I have to let it go, even though the PSAT's are tomorrow. She works so hard, up past midnight almost every night and up before 6 each morning, doing homework. It is her future, not mine. She already has an ACT score of 30, good enough to get into all but the top tier schools. Unlike her younger years, these years are the ones where she is shaping her future by her choices. I can force her to give up her extracurriculars, her small group Bible study, her singing, but that would only make her less of who she really as, as well as punish our relationship.

At this point I need to remember myself, and remind her, that while she should pursue her goals and her dreams she needs to keep in mind that God is sovereign over all. Her eventual choice of college, her future career, her future husband -- God already knows all these things. And they are all going to work for good for her (Romans 8:28).

So I respect who she is, try to make sure she knows that she does not have to be her brother. Try to help her know how wonderful and precious and cherished she truly is.

The role reversal

I am sick. A week ago, my daughter had this cold and so I brought her drinks and tucked her under blankets. This week my daughter brings me drinks, but I don't need blankets because I am pretty much always 10 degrees warmer than the rest of the family. If my care would be left to my husband I am pretty sure I would starve to death. Okay, not really, but nurturing is not really his role in our relationship, it is my job.

My Mommy used to take care of me and my sister and brother. Now she is far away from me, in South Carolina, and my sister helps to take care of her. I see little visions of the future when I am sick and M ministers to me, and to be honest it is scary. I don't want to be the helpless one -- I have always been the helper, the caregiver. I am sure that my Mom always felt the same way.

I see now why people had big families, and it would be comforting to know that I had 5 or 6 kids to look after me in my old age. Fortunately, I have two really amazing kids, and they both have some nurturing in them. Nonetheless I don't see anything wrong with praying that Jesus comes back before I get to nursing home age.