Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Confessions of the Formerly Hot

So I used to be what they call hot.  I mean, I never had the traffic stopping kind of face or figure of a Victoria's Secret model, but I was pretty and I liked being pretty.  That was then.

Throughout my 50th year I started to experience a sort of transformation, where the wrong things started to grow (a GUT?  When did I ever have a GUT?!) and many things started to droop.  I mean, what happened to my jawline?  The shocking part is how quickly it all happened.  One day I am thinking I am holding up pretty well and a month later I am wondering how that old woman got in my mirror.

Now at last I am in the position of never being able to flirt my way out of a situation.  Honestly, I probably shouldn't have even been trying for years, but when 90% of your customer base is male and over 60 it is still worth a shot. At this point in my life I am thanking God that He saw fit to have me born into a family that had two smart parents who valued a college education.  As a diner waitress right now I would be racking up the penny tips, especially with my bad attitude.

Here I am, struggling daily with Weight Watchers and Deep Wrinkle Smoothing Cream and working out to Just Dance 2 in the basement.  Not feeling sorry for myself (much), but still wishing I had the kind of excess income it would take to pay for that Lifestyle Lift to pin back my jawline.  And maybe a little lipo.

But the thing that matters is that my husband still thinks I am hot.  The man is still crazy about me and I love him like crazy too.  Funny to be thinking this way, but this is now my prayer for my children - that my son's future wife and my daughter's future husband will think they are hot for the rest of their lives.  It is a wonderful gift.

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